I think I’ve probably re-written this first paragraph half a dozen times. That’s because I’ve got something very important to share. A few days ago, after having a big personal breakthrough, I realized I’ve got an idea that might mean a huge breakthrough for you, too. Huge.
The challenge is I realize you’ve been inundated with email and sales letters hyping products that will ‘revolutionize Internet marketing’ and instantly make you fabulously wealthy. Don’t worry. When I say, “huge breakthrough”, I’m not leading you down the path to the thousand dollar order form.
This all started as a result of a bunch of emails I’ve been getting. Emails that look a lot like this one…
I’m one of those people you talk about on your blog sometimes. I’ve been to three or four Internet marketing seminars, have spent thousands on ebooks, courses and coaching programs aimed to teach me how to start an online business. Now I’m $30,000 in debt and have spent all our savings.
I’m a widow living on a fixed income and have to take care of my ailing parents. I’m willing to work hard but don’t know what to do. Can you help me?
Desperate indeed. Now that was a fictitious example of the kind of email that shows up in my in-box all the time. Some of them are heartbreaking. The amount of debt usually varies. So does the age and sex of the sender. But this is an issue that doesn’t seem to discriminate.
So what IS the problem?
For one thing, I don’t think it’s due to lack of information. For some, it may be the lack of a good business coach or mentor but I’m not sure that’s really the issue, either.
I’ve seen people in my classes fail, too, and it’s not due to lack of info or a good coach. Many students just simply stopped showing up. Sometimes after just one or two lessons.
Ultimately, I think it comes down to one or two causes:
- You’re overwhelmed by all the technical details (setting up a website, shopping cart, download page, affiliate program, autoresponders, etc.)
- You’ve got a subconscious mental block.
- All of the above.
When it comes to the tech side of web marketing, I’ve been lucky. I’ve always been intrigued by that stuff even though it does frustrate me at times. I’ll do research online, buy an ebook or hire an expert to help me solve the problem.
As for the mental block, that’s certainly something I can relate to.
Mental blocks to success are certainly something I’ve covered in this space before. It’s an ongoing struggle for me and one of the reasons I work with a really good therapist & coach, Gaea Logan.
Gaea helps me understand and eliminate the things that hold me back. Recently, we discovered that a brief conversation I had with my Dad over 35 years ago was having a huge negative impact on my finances.
My Dad married my Mom and adopted me when I was five. Dad grew up on a farm in Missouri with two younger brothers. I won’t go into details but let’s just say he had a very rough childhood.
One day, when I was around ten or eleven, he started talking to me about how when he first married my Mom, I was spoiled rotten. “Your closet was packed with toys. Some of them weren’t even opened yet. You had toys that you weren’t even old enough to play with yet.”
I can still hear him as though it was yesterday. The words above don’t really convey his tone. He spoke with undisguised disgust in his voice.
I was reminded of that conversation about seven years ago when my sister, Misty, was pregnant with Zack, her first child. My Dad announced that he’d already had a custom set of golf clubs made for Zack. That’s when I immediately recalled his words from the past…
You had toys that you weren’t even old enough to play with yet.”
Dad buying golf clubs for a kid that hasn’t even been born? What’s wrong with this picture?
This stirred up a lot of old feelings but after the initial shock, I did some thinking. Knowing Dad’s history, I realized that what I heard that day long ago was the voice of a jealous child that grew up without any toys of his own or much love.
I don’t think Dad was consciously aware of what he was saying, certainly not of the impact it would have. And it was only two days ago when I realized how this was affecting me today.
See, I’ve struggled with trying to find my own success blocks for a while now. I constantly read books to help me have a better understanding of how our minds work and how to be successful. I’ve read several books that discuss how early programming from our environment can cause success blocks that inhibit us all our lives. And I’ve talked to my Siglo IV friends and my friend Mark Ryan about it numerous times.
Usually, the programming consists of things revolving around ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’ or ‘filthy rich’ and so on. While I did hear a lot of that sort of thing on television and in movies, these weren’t beliefs I believed I held.
I grew up in a family of entrepreneurs. My Dad has run a successful business for years. And I practically grew up in the restaurant business with my Grandfather. We didn’t have as much wealth as many of the families I grew up around but I just looked at what they had as inspiration for what was possible not someone to blame for my own problems.
Yet I knew somewhere, I had a belief that was holding me back. And Wednesday, I found it.
I was in a session with Gaea. We were talking about success blocks and then moved on to another topic. Something came up that reminded me of the story about my Dad. Gaea had actually heard the story months ago but I brought it up again.
And she said, “There’s your block. The message you carried from that conversation was that it’s not OK to have things. ‘Having lots of of possessions means you’re bad’. Can you see that?”
As she spoke, I noticed tears running down her cheeks.
I said, “Wow, yeah, I’d never really thought of it that way before but it’s as clear as a bell now. As I’ve become more successful and accumulated more things, I’ve felt great but have also gone through all kinds of struggles based on something internal that I’ve been unable to understand. And that’s caused me to sabotage my success at times. But, Gaea, this seems to be making you more emotional than I am.”
Gaea said, “Actually, that started when I noticed you starting to tear up.” At first I wondered what she was talking about. Then I realized that despite the fact I didn’t feel it anywhere else in my body, tears were welling in my eyes.
She pointed out that here was the disconnect. As soon as I can own that feeling, I can release it. And no more block. And, if experience is any indicator, it won’t take long. In a week or two, maybe less, it’ll be history.
If you feel similar ‘programming’ is holding you back, I urge you to read books by authors like Joe Vitale, Anthony Robbins or Randy Gage. If possible, find a good therapist to help you work through these blocks.
I’m well aware of the damage these blocks can do. And it’s my mission to do what I can to find a path through this. I’ve also found one solution that may help you right away, especially those of you struggling with making money.
Over the last two weeks, I’ve been working with Nelson Duffle on his website makeover. From the beginning, I’ve felt like his product would be a hit with copywriters and copywriting students. But as I interviewed Nelson and heard more about the process he teaches in his ebook, I realized that he’s offering a possible solution to many of you that are stuck regardless of whether or not you’re a copywriter.
This isn’t another Internet marketing course. It isn’t expensive. And it’s not something I’ve seen anyone else talk about. Prior to meeting Nelson, I didn’t realize that gigs like this were readily available.
See Nelson explained to me that anyone that has any basic writing ability that follows the instructions in his book, can find a company willing to pay them $800 to $1,000 to write the copy for a simple brochure. And with a few of these projects under your belt, you could start moving up to the higher paying projects with Fortune 500 companies.
Although I didn’t know about the corporate market, I know Nelson’s right because I started in a similar way. In December of 2001, I was hired by a guy I met on eBay to do my first writing project. I was paid $1,000 to write a sales letter for an herbal supplement he was offering plus another $1,000 a week later to write a series of simple follow-up emails.
I’d charge $10,000 or more to write a sales letter today but at the time, for someone with no experience, I was thrilled to get the work. Had I known then what I’ve learned from Nelson, I would have struggled far less those first couple of years in the business. See, it was a long time before I found my next copywriting gig because I had no idea where to look for new clients.
Besides being perfect for those of you that have struggled with Internet marketing, this is perfect for those of you that are intimidated by the tech side of things.
You don’t have to know how to build a website, how to format an ebook, how to setup a shopping cart or anything like that. All project managers like Nelson will require from you are words. If you can write in Microsoft Word, you’ve got all the tech skills you need.
For that reason, I urge you to order Nelson’s ebook.
If the reason you got interested in Internet marketing was just a way to supplement your existing income, escape a job you can’t stand or find a way to work from home, this is just the ticket. Granted, you won’t be making passive income as you would selling ebooks but you will gain the freedom of working from anywhere you’d like and setting your own hours.
Plus, you don’t have to have start-up money like you would putting up a website biz.
For those skeptics in the audience that think I’m just recommending this to make a buck, let me point out something. In the past several weeks, I’ve had the opportunity to promote several high-cost Internet marketing courses. At least one of those would have paid me a whopping $800 per sale!
But you didn’t hear about those programs because I either didn’t feel they were a good value or a good match for you. Or in some cases, I wasn’t allowed to see the product in advance to review it.
So, while I will earn a commission if you buy Nelson’s book, I’d have to sell dozens to equal what I’d earn from a single sale of those other courses. I just truly believe this book is just the ticket for those of you that aren’t yet making big money (or any money) online.
You can find Nelson’s ebook, How to Make a Fortune Writing for Fortune 500 Companies” by clicking here.
I also want you to remind you of what I said earlier. I’ll be devoting a lot more attention to helping you break through those mental blocks. I’m not a therapist and I don’t play one on TV. However, I’ll be glad to share what I learn along the way.
Next week, at Gaea and Mark Ryan’s urging, I’ll be starting a new 30-day experiment. It may become the topic of my next book. I’ll be blogging about it so you can follow along. It might be here or on a new blog setup exclusively for the experiment. Either way, I’ll let you know in the next few days.
As always, I’d love to hear your feedback. Please leave your comments below.
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As many times as you rewrote the first paragraph of this blog entry, I’ve rewritten the beginning of this comment and I still don’t know what I’m going to say.
If anyone needs this book, I do.
The ability to write convincing copy is perhaps the key to success in Internet marketing. Anyone can develop that skill. You have. I can and will.
I’ve “known” you for long enough that I trust your recommendations. This one comes from the heart. Thank you for your willingness to share what are obviously very personal and painful memories.
Hopefully some day I can afford to hire you as my coach. In the meantime I’ll get this book.
Hey Michael, good to hear from you. I thought about you when I was interviewing Nelson and when I wrote this post so I’m glad you read it and posted a comment. Nelson’s thing may be perfect for you. Let me know how it works out. — BH
Thank you for this awesome blog post! Sabotage from stuff in the past resonates with me, too. For the first time in my life, I’m starting to get clear on the things that have been holding me back. I can’t wait to hear about your experiment and the next steps you take to further break through!
Thanks for commenting, Todd!
I really appreciate your transparency here.
I believe, as you undoubtedly do as well, that your experience is our experience as readers. So… as you go through your discoveries with us we end up making similar realizations.
It’s amazing how often I can still feel situations in my past as a child arise when crucial decisions need to be made, with pretty much the same end result: diffusion of vision; cancellation of courage; recoiling toward inner shelter.
It’s as if we were this walking twisted bundle of life experiences disconcerting our efforts at a straight walk. We’re inebriated with past negative voices echoing across the decades creating a stumble out of an otherwise sure step.
We are a complicated lot, us humans.
As for me, I’m looking forward to reading your further adventures as I work through my own.
March on Bill, I’m only a step behind.
Thanks for your comments, Joe! The walk does get easier as you clear those obstacles from your past. I know some writers are hesitant to be so transparent but I always get very positive feedback when I do. It’s funny, it’s against everything I learned in the music biz which is all about the mystique of rock stars.– BH
One of the things I know…truly… is that there is Power in Vulnerability! Thanks for sharing your vulnerability.. as well as the power it brings.
I am just now starting the process of text writing for my new website. What a process! to say nothing of how to make the site bring me income.
I also realize I have some stuff probably sabotaging my success… the “poor little immigrant girl” label I got as a new Canadian from Holland is still hanging on. I must have drawn a major conclusion about that one!Yes I am clearing it.. and.. it IS a process.
Thanks for the clarity in your writing. I appreciate it and will be going back to read some of your archive and new material.
Thanks, Inger. I see you’ve got Joomla! installed on your site. Hope you like it. I’m about to start using it myself. — BH
Bill, best blog entry in a long time. I latched onto every word. We are all on individual paths to success. Success means something different for each of us, but a calmness and serenity of life comes with dedication to right-minded thinking. Thank you for sharing your personal experience with all of us to all can benefit.
All the best, your friend… Julian
Thanks, Julian! Success & Serenity go hand in hand, how right you are. — BH
You’ve hit the nail on the head with this topic.
I asked you for advice years ago about an ebook I started working on and you were very helpful. But I never finished the ebook.
* It’s too boring.
* People will criticize me because they already know that stuff, or it’s wrong, or it’s not good enough, etc.
So to make it perfect, it became too big and too hard, so I gave up.
Since then I’ve been “starting” another web site project for a few years now, but my slow progress (who am I kidding? no progress) compounds my feeling of failure.
I’ve just started working with someone who is helping me clear my success blocks. One thing that has helped me in recent days is learning to shift my focus from my feelings of inadequacy to the benefits my audience will get once I put my stuff out there.
Thinking about them makes the effort required to write an ebook or publish a web site seem a lot easier. It doesn’t have to be ‘perfect’ because my friends want to hear what I have to say.
However the thought of really, truly having something out there still makes me feel a little nervous, but I’m making progress (slowly) to live and think with a sense of purpose.
Keep talking Bill. You’re speaking words of LIFE.
Thanks, Marcus, you make an excellent point. Focusing on the benefits to your audience is not only critical when writing a sales letter, it’s important as a motivator, too. Let me know when your product is finished. — BH
I know firsthand what you’re talking about. A couple of years ago I realized that I had a block from what was supposed to be a positive experience. In the middle of 1st grade I got promoted to second grade because I could already read quite well. Was I proud? No, I got ripped away from my friends and put in a class with older kids. My 6 year old mind concluded – you get punished for being excellent or standing out! You can imagine how that belief showed up in my life. I’ve played small for years when I could have played big. No more! I’m very interested in anything you have on clearing old beliefs. Thank you for sharing your process.
That’s a great example, Wes. Thanks for sharing it. — BH
Iam only making $200-600 a month. Not enough to quit my job, but it’s a good start. For everyone out there not making money yet, just TAKE ACTION, do something already! 🙂
[Right on, Bradley! Congrats on getting started and taking action — BH]
Hi Bill –
Yep, our old conversations certainly keep us stuck. I’ve know this for years — what I didn’t know what that as long as I’m only dealing with conversations from THIS lifetime, anything I clear seems to be only temporary.
I’m inviting you to consider the NEXT level of clearing…the one that clears the lifetime in which you ORIGINALLY had a similar conversation and FIRST created those thoughts of beliefs.
Clear that and you’re talking about TRUE freedom…permanently!
That’s what I do for people now, and the results are extraordinary. Give us a call sometime, we’ll tell you all about it. OR maybe we’ll see you next weekend?
Amy (& Andy)
[What you mean I have to clean up another lifetime, too? Sheesh. 🙂 Thanks, Amy! And Hi to Andy and the kids, too! — BH]
The email that led me to this blog post was certainly effective (it got me to click through), and I think it was because I found myself intrigued by the thought of being hampered 40 years later by a comment made when we were young. I’ve never really grasped how that old programming affects me still, until I had a similar breakthrough while reviewing a coaching program for a friend of mine. And the irony is that I have always prided myself on releasing the blocks from my own life (I’ve even written an ebook about my methods). But, it just goes to show you (or me, in this case) that one never knows exactly what’s lurking in our psyche and sabotaging us still.
What an excellent and thoughtful post. Thank you for sharing it.
[Thanks, Buz. I thought I’d dealt with this one years ago but I’d really only done half the job. I dropped the resentment with my Dad, which is a big part of it, but I’d overlooked the more specific effects of the language he used. It’s one thing to go, ‘Hey, I wasn’t a bad kid. How could I be responsible for what toys were given to me anyway? And realizing what I saw then was something that went back to Dad’s childhood was important, too. But I needed to go back and process that it’s not anybody’s fault that I had “so many toys” because having nice things isn’t a ‘fault’. — BH
Although I have not “pulled the trigger” yet with an internet business, I still get a ton of emails and blog posts from the internet marketing crowd. You are on the short list of ones I actually read. I have been able to benefit from much of the information you refer in my real estate business.
I also feel that the “block” issue you bring up here is one that holds many more people back from success than any of us probably know.
Thanks for continuing to truly care about the success of those that you influence.
Bill, this post really hit home with me. I had always wanted to write but had been told that my writing was not good enough. I now make my living by writing articles, blogs and ebooks and am building my own ‘Portable Empire’. The people who criticized me so long ago are either dead now or living far away from me. I am finally able to believe in myself.
Bill, awesome post. I can relate exactly to what you’re talking about, as I’ve had my own struggles over the years. Heck, you and I first made contact years ago and I’m still not where I want to be (how DO I get that traffic, anyway?!) Personal struggles have gotten in the way of the progress and where I should be at this point in my internet career.
And awesome recommendations as far as reading material, as I get tons of inspiration and motivation, as well as comfort and peace reading the works from Joe and Tony Robbins. As writing tends to be one of my strong points, and as good as you feel about what he has to say, I’m definitely going to order Nelson’s book and am really looking forward to reading it and applying what he teaches. I’ll let you know how it goes!
thank you for sharing – I’ve always appreciated your courage and willingness to be vulnerable in such posts. Sharing is a bridge of understanding for all of us.
I’ve struggled with blocks as well – I think we all do. One biggee belief I have recently uncovered was that… “It doesn’t matter what I do, I cannot have what is my heart of hearts.” This belief came from two very painful experiences that I had to process when I was very young. It has been “loyal” to me and manifested the (predictable) painful results – but it is just a belief and beliefs can be changed, through undaunting faith. Sometimes, you just sense there is so much more beyond the unTruths that were “learned”. Where are we if we are operating from these old relic “files” – not “here” in the present moment and that is ALL we have. This very MOMENT is where the magic lives.
So, here’s to you, and the rest of us, who are warriors along the way – transforming and reclaiming the energy that ever put a limit on our Limitedness.
To Joyous Wings!
This is the stuff that changes lives, Bill. VERY powerful. Thanks for spreading this kind of material. It’s what the world needs more of.
Truly enjoy your info and help.
Joey Atlas, former ‘Fat Kid’
Thanks for sharing and to the commentor that said Take Action, James Brausch would agree with that. He’s the one that first made me realize, I don’t know exactly what block I might have until I start acting, then and only then can I deal with it, leap over it or knock it down and get on with what I’m doing.
Bill, you’ve also given me an idea about how to implement something I was unsure about moving forward with.
Thanks, look forward to reading more.
Hi Bill, Thank you so much for sharing your whole self. We all come from the same place, Blockville! I’m working on myself, keep moving forward and stop looking back. The more I keep moving forward the more blocks are erased and the pipes begin to clear. Sometimes it feels like I’ll never get to where I’m going and I try so hard only to find some caca from the past showing up, asking to be cleared but I’m not letting that stop me! Just flushing and moving forward, then suddenly I find opportunity banging on my door so hard it’s about to bust open and then I realize, just turn the knob and let it in. 🙂
I can’t wait to see more posts about your experiment. And hear how you harness all those great ideas and inspiration. Why do my hands move so much slower than my mind and the ideas that flow abundantly?
Again Bill, thanks for sharing. I’ll see you on Courage Mountain where we open our wings and fly!!
Peace to you, Donna
Great post, you hit a few nails right on the head with this one. Hey, long time since our chats on Netbreakthroughs and Metawebs eh??
Ah yes, dear ol’ Dad…. I can relate very well my friend.
My parents both grew up during the Great Depression and they both struggled with negativity and mild depression. We had a decent home life but it certainly wasn’t a real positive, uplifting place.
Your post brought back memories and made me realize again what a lasting impact some of those early experiences have had over the years.
Whenever I had a good idea or project or anything , when I told Dad about it, his first response was to tell me all the reasons why it wouldn’t work, or what was wrong with it.
Since I had great respect for his intellect and opinion, and others did too (he was known as a ‘walking encyclopedia’), I was usually quite deflated and discouraged after his “constructive” criticism.
Now 40 years later I realize it left me with little confidence, always seeking someone else’s approval or confirmation for my ideas.
Since I don’t have any IM peers close and my immediate family haven’t seen any IM success, I don’t really have any confirmation or encouragement for my IM projects.
Hmmm… I wonder why I haven’t been ‘able’ to get much of anything going on the web? LOL
Add in some info-overload, ‘fear of flying’, and a lack of tech skills to implement the nuts & bolts of a web biz, and it becomes pretty clear why I’m not making any serious money online.
Thank you Bill for the painful reminder.Seriously. You helped clarify it in my mind, and now I can work on putting it behind me. Block-busting can be fun, right?
On a related note, just on the chance it may help someone else who is struggling:
When I lived near Spokane, Kirt Christensen was kind enough to invite me to lunch. It was all too brief, and I was too new to IM to know what to ask, but it was still valuable time. Because of the above and my lack of success, I asked Kirt what he thought about “success coaching” like Tony Robbins or other motivational guys. Did he think it might help me? His answer was down-to-earth and brimming with common sense.
Kirt said that in his experience all that most people need is to actually experience some personal success. That is usually enough to motivate them to continue on a positive path.
So break some blocks, jump the barricades, break the project down into manageable sections, and stick with stage one until you finish it. Celebrate that success, and move to stage two, etc..
Just DO it!!!
(now let’s see if I can take my own advice)LOL
Thanks again Bill. Cheers 😉